Raising a Gentleman

When I discovered that I was pregnant with my first child, I immediately began having visions of girl names that I had always loved, about pink dresses, and girly nursery themes.  I am one of three girls, and it never occured to me that I could possibly give birth to a boy.  What in the world would I do with one?  Well, God indeed has a sense of humor, because He gave me a boy!  I was very excited, but had no clue as to how I would raise a boy.  Well, eight years later, I often still find myself clueless as to what to do with this boy.  I often joke that God knew just how many boys that I could handle (my youngest two are girls). 

Boys are both a challenge and delight.  Their energy levels rival that of the Energizer Bunny, and their manners often leave much to be desired.  However, I have found  my son to be very loving and sweet at heart.  He will fight with his sisters all day long, but gets very upset when he finds out that someone else has bothered them. 

Trey accepted Christ as his Savior as a first grader.  Of course, my ultimate prayer for all of my children is that they would make this most important decision.  This is the foundation for everything else that my husband and I want to teach him.  The other night, my husband and I were talking about how we only have about ten more years with him at home.  Tremaine said, "I hope we have enough time to teach him (I thought he was going to say something really profound like "how to make the right decisions" or "to always to be honest" or something along those lines :) to eat with his fork." Of course, I laughed because this is something that we constantly work on along with "use your napkin, not your shirt" and "brush your teeth and put away your clothes after your bath".  Those things are important, but not the most important. 

Lately, we have been concentrating on teaching him to be a gentleman.  My sister and I were talking the other day about how we love it when men act like gentleman and how it seemed to be becoming a lost art.  I have really tried to have Trey open doors for his sisters and me and always emphasize "ladies first".  We also teach our children to say, "yes ma'am" and "yes sir".  This is a work in progress, but he is starting to remember it more often. 

I am teaching third grade Sunday School at church this year, which happens to be the class that Trey is in.  I teach with two other wonderful teachers.  One of them happens to be a man.  I am so happy when men volunteer to teach children at church.  They are great Christian examples for young men.  We had breakfast in Sunday School last week, and the children formed a line.  Of course, the boys made a bee line to the front.  Mr. Bob said, "No, ladies first."  The other teacher so eloquently explained to the young boys why learning to be a gentleman is so important.  It really hit home with me because I had never thought of this before.  She said, "By learning to be a gentleman, you are learning to sacrifice and put others first.  You will have to do this to lead your families one day and to provide for them."  What an "a ha" moment I had!  Being a gentleman is much more than opening doors and saying "yes ma'am".  The root of gentlemanly behavior is sacrifice and putting others before yourself.  This was a valuable lesson for me and the boys. 

Some women get very upset when reading the scripture about submitting to their husbands, but if the husband is doing his part and loving his wife as Christ loves the church, everything falls in place and each person puts his/her needs behind the other person's.  This is the heart of Christian leadership, whether in a marriage or the church or in any relationship.  This kind of sacrificial love has to be taught early.  Unfortunately, it does not come naturally to our selfish, sinful selves. 

With God's help, one day, we can look back and say, "we raised a fine gentleman," even if he is still eating with his hands and wiping them on his shirt! :)